I rarely write about Finley and I've explained why that is in past posts, but I feel compelled to share the fantastic news with you all... Finley's EHCP has been granted and he has been offered a place at our preferred special needs school for children with complex learning difficulties, without us even having to fight for it.
Snug as a bug... ON a rug?!
Despite me being typically hard faced and logical about things, I didn't stop crying for half an hour when I heard the news last week! The built up pressure must have finally wanted to spill out of me like water from a tipped up jug. Boy, did it feel good!!
Anyone going through the turmoil of requesting an EHCP assessment, keep going. It will be worth it in the end and it will be the greatest feeling ever when you get some good news. It's not easy, it can be very complicated, and will take up a lot of your time, not to mention be quite distressing when you have to fill that form out with every single issue in black and white. But DON'T GIVE UP!
He might have his issues but he's a ray of sunshine on this beach :)
We're ecstatic that we've managed to do something for him. I am feeling so incredibly hopeful for what this huge milestone can do for him in the long run.
You may remember some 18 months ago that Baby Babble, my weekly linky, just... stopped. Every week I was whinging about the negatives and never really cherishing the positives and, to be honest, it upset me. So I stopped the linky with a view of taking one month off.
18 months-ish later, it's still not back. Let me tell you why that is.
After the first few weeks of the break I still failed to see many positives and I was beating myself up about it something rotten. My Dad had just died and Finley appeared to be regressing on me. What was up with life? Was it me? Was I too consumed with grief to appreciate them?
I hardly ever write about Finley except for very recently where I feel I can start to disclose little things about him. The truth of the matter is that he had stopped developing as he should have. He rolled when he should, started weaning when he should, he even started babbling when he should but that was about it.
He began crawling shortly after his 1st birthday and learned to stand, aided, at around 15 months. He started walking at 20 months. A little on the slower side than perhaps would normally be expected but still, he made it!
When it came to responding to his name or eye contact being made however, he's still struggling. He has little to no understanding of us and has not attempted to talk. We know when he's happy because he makes a sea lion noise and flaps his hands. We know when he's frustrated or wanting something because he says beh-beh/baba. On being referred to speech and language we were advised he had no joint attention, which would not only explain his inability to communicate or understand, but would also be a reason as to why he didn't play with us or care for our physical contact. He had no idea what we were there for so until that moment came, we were unlikely to progress.
How upsetting to hear, as a mum particularly. You see, he despised me touching him or trying to have a cuddle. He had a lot of love for his Daddy and he seemed to be the only person that Finley would allow near him. It was hard to take, from a selfish point of view, but a good thing that at least we know it is possible to have a relationship, of sorts, with him.
He is just about getting past the 'flicking' stage. He could quite happily sit and flick his toes for hours on end. I'm not exaggerating when I say hours. He can go into his own little bubble and nothing can pop it until he is ready. Balls are a big deal for him too. We have the spiky ones, the light up ones and the smooth of all sizes. He can stare at them from millimetres away, practically touching his forehead. He'll stroke them over his face, neck and hair, and is finding them bouncing from his hand when he releases it really very amusing. He will pivot or pace, eyes'a'rolling to boot. Complete in his own little world.
Just last week, he held my thumbs off his own back. This was a big deal!! He stared into my eyes (Huge deal!!) and smiled whilst dancing (MEGA DEAL!!!) . He has never done any of those on their own, never mind together. I got seriously emotional and I keep going back to stare at the picture that my hubby luckily caught on his phone. Just, wow.
Anyway, we waited 10 months for his referral to come through to see a paediatrician and that first appointment was this morning. I have been so het up, stomach churning, worried, nervous. Why? I don't know if I'm honest. It wasn't at all likely we'd have any answers, it was probably the start of one long and winding road full of observations and brush offs of "we'll wait and see".
Wrong.
Today, we received a diagnosis within the first 40 minutes. Finley has low functioning, non verbal, ASD. It's a severe austism diagnosis.
It came as so much of a shock that my husband burst in to tears in the doctors office there and then. I mean, the diagnosis itself was no shock. We already knew he had GDD (global development delay) and we suspected autism of some kind, going off of Google etc. But we genuinely didn't think it was as "incredibly obvious" as what the paediatrician could see within 40 minutes. I guess maybe we had become blind to most of his traits and behaviours, because that, to us, is just Finley - not a condition.
Will he ever speak? We don't know. It's best not to assume that he will and hope for the best. Will he ever 'catch up'? Again, we just don't know. All we can do now is learn to cope and deal with it now that we have an official diagnosis and for me, that's a relief. It's a relief in knowing that it's been OK to not cope so great with him at times. I'm sure some tears will come this evening, I've choked some back a couple of times already today.
Maybe one day #BabyBabble will return, but for now I'm not pressuring myself to regularly include him in any part of the blog unless I need to rant or rejoice every now and then.
A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to work with Wow Toys and review Dudley the Dump Truck. Given Finley’s developmental delay I find it difficult to source toys that he is willing to play with if it doesn't involve flicking. Wow Toys however, are aimed at aiding development such as fine motor skills. Count us in then!
Firstly, it’s a large box and would make for an impressive gift when wrapped. I wasn't expecting it to be so large. All the better for little fingers to get to grips with I suppose!
Inside the box is Dudley Dump Truck (aka Dudders) complete with driver/worker, barrels and traffic cones. As Finley progresses I do hope that this will encourage imaginative role play as well because there’s no one specific place for these pieces to be.
You can pop the driver behind his windscreen, cones on the ground and barrels in the back of the truck. Or have the driver acting as a worker on the ground with Dudders bringing the cones. For the moment Finley seems to enjoy the driver behind the windscreen and although he can't sit him in place just yet, he loves to open and close the window which is helping his finger/thumb pincing and opening actions.
There's a dial on the side of Dudders that empties his truck, with the contents crashing out. Finley loves this and knows to pull my fingers to the dial when he wants it to happen which is an amazing achievement for him. This means he understands how it works so he should be able to have a go himself sooner rather than later!
As Dudley is a friction powered truck, if you roll him forwards and lift him off the ground and repeat this, the wheels build speed enough to let go for him to whizz forward by himself. Sounds pretty realistic too... "vroom!" HINT: Don't try this on a table, like we did (oops!), he really does build some speed and distance!!
Currently at Amazon for £19.99, I have to say that from my experience these past few weeks, it's worth every penny. There's no need to constantly replace batteries because they’re not required, it’s durable, developmentally educational, fun and encourages imaginative play. It will take Finley through many a year of play, of that I’m sure.
Once he's cracked his motor skills he can start all over again with this toy on another level. I highly recommend Dudley Dump Truck for any child regardless of age. Wow Toys suggested 18m to 3 years and although Finley is 2 he has a developmental age of 6-10m and we have found this to be an exciting addition to Finley’s day, reaping the benefits gained form having this already.
Wow Toys have been kind enough to offer up one of these to you guys as a thank you for checking out the review, just follow the rules in the Rafflecopter widget below to enter.
Remember: Enter as many ways as you like but the more ways you do choose to enter, the better chance you have of winning this brilliant prize. Best of luck xx
It was Finley’s second birthday at the beginning of the month, n’awww!
Deciding on what to do for his birthday was a bit of a tough one. Without sounding awful, truly I mean this in the nicest possible way, what could I do with and buy for a toddler who doesn’t really do anything? I don’t write about him as much as I used to because it transpires that he has some further difficulties on top of his developmental delay that I’d rather not get into on the blog until things have settled down or we at least know what we’re dealing with. However, ff I say that in short he is non-verbal coupled with various social/communication issues, then hopefully it will be a little clearer for future posts.
Aside from Peppa Pig pyjamas and this beautiful "I am 2" t-shirt (picked up from ASDA for just £2.50 by the way!), we decided to go down the sensory route and bought things like lots of bubbles and a soft George Pig to play with. We have come to realise that lights and textures are what get the most out of our little sausage so it's knowing how to hone in on that idea to get the best for him.
Honeybee Mama got in touch and suggested a sensory bag for Finley considering his current SEN situation and kindly offered to send him one to have a go of for his birthday. For those who aren't sure of what these are, sensory bags contain everyday household and natural items to support exploration and the discovery of the properties of objects. Perfect for Finley and great for aiding the importance of play! Some of the items included a fuzzy bright pink sponge, a cold smooth shell, loud crinkly paper and, the favourite, a shiny red bauble with a bell inside.
I managed to plonk him down long enough to get a beautiful photo of him smiling with his sensory bag products but mostly he picked them up and ran around with them, rubbing them on his chin and neck. So cute! I love that the sensory bag is in a thick high-quality cotton drawstring bag meaning we can take this wherever we go and he can continue to develop an understanding of everyday items whenever he likes.
At £9.95 a pop, I don't think you could even buy the individual items at a lesser price to be honest so the fact you get the carry bag as well, presented with a handwritten tag attached, it truly is value for money. It's also incredibly thoughtful when it comes to buying something a bit different for children - whether they may or may not have additional needs. You can view the sensory bags available over at HoneybeeMama's website and check out their twitter and facebook feeds for all things "bumps, births, boobs, bums and babies"!!
So far as the day went, we decided to opt for a picnic in the park and wow, did we get some pretty awesome weather for it. We visited the swings, ran around the fields, ate lots of picnic treats and had ice cream too.
Our feet were absolutely throbbing by the end of the day. Both Carson and Finley went on to have one of the best night's sleep they've had in a very long time. All the excitement, energetic activity and fresh sea air has it's major plus points!
What do you think of our budget birthday?
I think it just goes to show that expense doesn't bring happiness. Family time and genuine thought do.
