Mums - What if your baby wasn't your baby?

I read a heartbreaking news article today, about two mums finding out that their 4 year old girls weren't their's but, in fact, each others.

Apparently they had been accidentally swapped shortly after birth at a hospital in South Africa. The truth only outed after a doubt from one of the father's over paternity.

As I was reading this story I felt a huge sadness deep inside my belly. As if this wasn't difficult enough, the story gets worse. One mum wants her biological daughter back and the other mum wants to keep the daughter she's raised.

It's an unthinkable dilemma.  I was absolutely stuck for an opinion because it's an impossible decision for any woman to have to go through making.

On the one hand, as a mother you grew your baby for 9 months. Your baby is a physical piece of you. You went through all of the emotions of pregnancy and, of course, the birth. That baby is the closest thing in the world to actually being you.

On the flip side, you attach yourself so strongly to your little one when they're here. Finley is less than 4 weeks old and I already get his personality! You know their cries, what comforts them, what they dislike.
You do all you can for that helpless little person.  Then, as they grow, you provide their entire little world.
They have your accent or tone, they have independence in what they do or how they think because *you* made it possible. At 4 years of age, you've created a mini maestro; their own opinions forming and their individual talents shining through. You've conversed for hours, teaching them the principles of life, from non - discrimination of others to stranger danger.

My heart aches for these mums, and the children themselves.

As there is dispute over 'who gets who', a court will decide the girls' fate. I would hate to be that judge. Can you imagine?

I think if I had to think of the fairest resolution, I would suggest the girls remain where they are but introduce gradual contact with the biological mum, increasing as they grow older when they can begin to understand this situation. I think, at 4yrs old, it would be pretty easy to introduce a new person in their lives. The problem with this scenario is how it will affect the mums given they both want different outcomes.

I thank my lucky stars that I am not faced with this with my children. I simply cannot comprehend the enormity of this sad, sad, happening so can't comment on what I'd do. But I wondered if anyone else can envisage a 'happy ending' and how they would come that?



8 comments:

  1. Such an absolute tragedy and, like you say, impossible to create an ideal outcome for all involved. Just reading the story made me hold my bump protectively, imagining nothing worse than not being able to raise this baby that grows inside me. I hope that somehow the families can find a way forward xx

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  2. I really can't even begin to imagine being in that situation and do not envy the judge for having to make some tough decisions x

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  3. Such a horrible situation. Years ago I watched a true life 'film' of a story very similar to this, if I remember the name I will tell you and it absolutely broke my heart! What is the best thing to and how on earth do you decide (in the film if I remember rightly there was a medical condition that brought it to light). The poor kids but at least they are(should be) unaware but the mums must be in agony of what must be a living nightmare x

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  4. Such a tragedy....It's the thing you watch in films not expect to hear about in real life! Those poor kids x

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  5. Absolutely heartbreaking I've got a 4 year old and I don't think if that me I could let him go.. Like you said I really don't envy the judge! Xx

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  6. terrible when you read stuff like this, shocking that it can even happen swell xx

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  7. How awful! I couldn't imagine what to part with a child I had raised - imagine being the other girl thinking no one wanted her - so sad!

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  8. Dreadful - doesn't bear thinking about, i really don;t know how I would handle a similar situation

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